


Regrets

by GothicPrincessWitch



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, M/M, Past Abuse, Slavery, just sweet sweet angst, no fluff or comfort in this one, not a happy fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 02:23:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10265435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothicPrincessWitch/pseuds/GothicPrincessWitch
Summary: Fenris lies awake at night and lets the guilt rip him to shreds.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was from a headcanon ask on Tumblr that I ended up answering in ficlet form, so I decided to post it here as well. Enjoy the pain!

Fenris's regrets haunt him in the late hours of the night, when the moonlight spills through the hole in his roof, when the shadows stretch across the walls of the magister's mansion like claws, like hunters come for him. Then he thinks of his regrets and shuts his eyes tightly against the flood of pain and guilt.

His enslavement. Why did he let himself be broken and turned into a devoted pet? Why didn't he resist what was done to him? Why didn't he know better? Why didn't he run from Danarius sooner?

The Fog Warriors. His first friends, who saved him when he was wounded and nursed him back to health, who refused to hand him back into slavery. His friends whom he slaughtered like every other sacrificial victim his Master had ordered him to kill.

His escape. He should go back, he should go back, he should go back. Running is against everything he's been taught, everything he knows about himself. He was favored. He was prized. He had food and shelter and Master. He wasn't meant to be alone and starving and cold and running.

His escape. Too slow. Not quick enough. The hunters nearly caught him. He shouldn't linger. Don't stay in one place for too long. Kirkwall is dangerous; he shouldn't remain here. He shouldn't stay. Why is he staying?

Hadriana. Why did he kill her? Why could he not after all this time just let her go? Can he ever be anything more than the deadly weapon Danarius made of him?

Breaking Hawke's heart. Not the leaving, for leaving was the right thing for both of them, but he hates that he hurt Hawke. Hawke has been hurt enough. Hawke means too much to him. Hawke didn't deserve to have his heart broken like that. But Fenris cannot be with him.

Varania. Why did he search for her? Why did he let himself hope? She sold him to his greatest enemy. She turned on him. She told him he asked for this, that he wanted everything that was done to him. He should never have sought her out.

The Chantry. Why didn't he stop Hawke from going to the sewers for Anders? Why didn't he rip out Anders's heart the moment he found out the mage was an abomination? All those people, all those meaningless deaths. How can he help Hawke bear burden of this guilt?

The regrets never fade.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Find me as gothic-princess-witch on Tumblr if you'd like to discuss more painful angsty Fenris headcanons or also sweet fluffy Fenris headcanons. The angst is just a lot more fun. ;)


End file.
